Ha ha ha ha ha... Howard Stern Prank Call

The Crate Application and Research Project

The Crate Application and Research Project was set up to promote crates in today's society. Modern attitudes to the crate have become somewhat jilted, especially since the sexual revolution of The Sixties. The Great British Red Crate used to be held in huge esteem by men and women from all classes. For instance, in the mid-Forties in Cheshunt, Hampshire, a crate was voted into the Office of Mayor for nearly three years running until meeting which a tragic accident involving a blowtorch. In 1951 the people of Bradninch, Devon, saw the first crate to be made a head schoolteacher.

As well as the afore-mentioned emminent crates, many crates found uses in other walks of life and were a huge part of every person's day to day routine. These pages were written to demonstrate the fantastic versatility of the humble crate, and to show how in these modern times, the crate is as important as it ever was.

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Mommy Mommy Jokes

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.

Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.

Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar.

Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men? Shut up and get back in the oven.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere? Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise. Shut up and eat around it!

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs? Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out! Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles. Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl? Shut up and flush.

Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers! Shut up and eat your french fries!

Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey? Shut up, you little snot.

Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much. All right, you can take another slice.

Find more "Mommy, Mommy jokes" HERE.

The Chicken Gun

The Chicken Gun

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the Chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatter-proof windshield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

Icon Wars!!!

Icon wars!!!! Do you know what YOUR desktop is up to when you're not around?

More Fun from Bored.com!

Destroy Any Website
Um, yeah, you type in the url, choose your method of destruction from flamethrower to bird poop to tire tracks and many more, then click away! Hee hee, I typed in www.whitehouse.gov just for the heck of it then bird pooped right on Georgie's head!

Let Your Personality Be Analyzed by Your Artwork
You have to create a tree, house, or person then your personality is analyzed. Here is my drawing:

Your personality analysis based on this drawing:You are conflicted about something and unsure what to do about it.The nurturing you get from others is not very predictable.You tend to concern yourself too much with thinking about the negative consequences of things.You strive for achievement.

George W. Bush's Hotmail Account

Real Country Music Song Titles
These are real. What's scary is that I recognize some of them.

Listen to a Song Backwards
For many years there have been rumors that certain songs, speeches, and ads contain hidden subliminal messages that can only be heard when played backwards. This is known as backmasking, and there is much debate about its existence. Use our website to find out for yourself if it is true. Or, listen just for the fun of it.

The Rock, Paper, Scissors Game
Play this classic kids game online

Bored.com Arcade
Play free video games online such as Pac Man, Tetris, Frogger & many others.

Male Restroom Guide and Female Restroom Guide

Oxymoron List
The largest list of oxymorons ever collected online.

What Famous Things Happened on Your Birthday?

Does a bear do WHAT in the woods?

For more funny pictures, visit FunLOL.com!

15 (Other) Uses for Vodka

Starting with: 1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The Solvent dissolves adhesive. READ THE REST HERE. The solvent dissolves the adhesive? And you're drinking that stuff??? Seriously?

Overheard in New York

What a great idea. You are out in public, you hear a massive amount of dumbness or meanness or insanity being spewed and you think, "Hmmm... I should start writing some of this down."

That's precisely what the "Overheard in New York" website is doing. They copy down the crappiest crap, the funniest, the strangest things that New Yorkers have been overheard saying and they share it online. Here are just a few examples:

When You're Here, You're Dysfunctional Family Blonde looking in compact: I need a new nose. Boyfriend: I need a new apartment. Blonde, whiny: It's always your needs! What about mine?! Boyfriend: You just spent five thousand dollars on your fucking tits with my money! Server waiting to take order: I'll come back when you two are ready... --Olive Garden, Chelsea

It's All in the Fricatives Granny: Be careful! Man jaywalking with several bags in hand: Ma, I know how to walk the streets in New York. [Car comes to screeching halt in front of him and honks. Man yells to driver] Fuck you! [To granny] See, I'm fine. --Main St, Flushing

Loud grandma tourist blocking crosswalk: What's the matter with these people?! Why are they crossing the street? Can't they see the 'No crossing' sign? Where do they think they're going? --Times Square

Nobody in New York Knows the Difference between At-Home and Outside Conversations Yuppie kid: Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo! Yuppie dad: Okay, honey. Look, do you want your book? Yuppie kid: I came in the bathroom this morning and asked Mommy what she was doing and she said shaving her hoo-hoo. Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo! Yuppie dad: Dylan, remember when we discussed at-home conversations and outside conversations? Yuppie kid: Yes. Yuppie dad: Well, this is an at-home conversation. Yuppie kid: Okay, daddy. [Sings to herself quietly] Mommmyyy shaves her hoo-hooo... Black lady: See, home conversating, outside conversating -- that's bullshit. My kid says shit like that, I smack him. He won't say shit like that again. Yuppie dad: Okay, thank you, but I think our method works just fine. Yuppie kid: Lady, do you shave your hoo-hoo? Black lady: Oh, yeah, that shit is workin' just fine. She's all kinds of polite. Yuppie dad: Okay, Dylan, this is our stop. --R train

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