Overheard in New York

What a great idea. You are out in public, you hear a massive amount of dumbness or meanness or insanity being spewed and you think, "Hmmm... I should start writing some of this down."

That's precisely what the "Overheard in New York" website is doing. They copy down the crappiest crap, the funniest, the strangest things that New Yorkers have been overheard saying and they share it online. Here are just a few examples:

When You're Here, You're Dysfunctional Family Blonde looking in compact: I need a new nose. Boyfriend: I need a new apartment. Blonde, whiny: It's always your needs! What about mine?! Boyfriend: You just spent five thousand dollars on your fucking tits with my money! Server waiting to take order: I'll come back when you two are ready... --Olive Garden, Chelsea

It's All in the Fricatives Granny: Be careful! Man jaywalking with several bags in hand: Ma, I know how to walk the streets in New York. [Car comes to screeching halt in front of him and honks. Man yells to driver] Fuck you! [To granny] See, I'm fine. --Main St, Flushing

Loud grandma tourist blocking crosswalk: What's the matter with these people?! Why are they crossing the street? Can't they see the 'No crossing' sign? Where do they think they're going? --Times Square

Nobody in New York Knows the Difference between At-Home and Outside Conversations Yuppie kid: Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo! Yuppie dad: Okay, honey. Look, do you want your book? Yuppie kid: I came in the bathroom this morning and asked Mommy what she was doing and she said shaving her hoo-hoo. Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo! Yuppie dad: Dylan, remember when we discussed at-home conversations and outside conversations? Yuppie kid: Yes. Yuppie dad: Well, this is an at-home conversation. Yuppie kid: Okay, daddy. [Sings to herself quietly] Mommmyyy shaves her hoo-hooo... Black lady: See, home conversating, outside conversating -- that's bullshit. My kid says shit like that, I smack him. He won't say shit like that again. Yuppie dad: Okay, thank you, but I think our method works just fine. Yuppie kid: Lady, do you shave your hoo-hoo? Black lady: Oh, yeah, that shit is workin' just fine. She's all kinds of polite. Yuppie dad: Okay, Dylan, this is our stop. --R train

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