Elmo Wants You to Die

MSNBC reports parents are complaining the potty-training book, "Potty Time with Elmo," is frightening their children away from the toilet. Apparently, there is a defect in the sound compression of some published copies of the talking book that makes what's supposed to be, "Who wants to go potty?," sound like, "Who wants to die?"

One mother interviewed for the news report said the incident was frightening to her as she sat with her small daughter and they turned the page of the book together and there was Elmo, asking her precious little girl if she wanted to die when the mother had every expectation that her child would be inspired to produce a bowel movement.

The book's manufacturer is willing to refund money but some purchasers may wish to take a detour to eBay where the defective doo-doo book is currently selling for two-and-a-half times its original retail price.

TruthorFiction.com

Before you forward that email...check it out at TruthOrFiction.com! Millions of Internet users depend on TruthOrFiction.com to find out whether an eRumor that has been forwarded to them is true or not. The Internet is the largest publishing machine that has ever existed and eRumors can spread around the globe at lightning speed. Nobody intends to spread a false rumor. We all love to tell "wow" stories, however. "Wow, that's interesting!" "Wow, that's hilarious!" "Wow, that's horrifying!" "Wow, that's heartwarming!" "Wow, that's hilarious!" "Wow, that's just what I thought my least favorite politician would do!" Each of us tells "wow" stories each day, but on the Internet, some of them turn out not to be true. That's where TruthOrFiction.com can save your skin. Whenever you receive a forwarded eRumor...come to TruthOrFiction.com and find out the truth about it. Help spread truth on the Internet! VISIT THE WEBSITE

More of my FREE Online Jigsaw Puzzles!

Click on any image to do that jigsaw puzzle!

The American Flag	Cat Three	Cat Four
Cat Eyes	Cat One	Cold River
Boots	Casablanca Poster	Cat Two

Asswipes Who Steal from Native Americans for Profit

Navahoax

Did a struggling white writer of gay erotica become one of multicultural literature’s most celebrated memoirists — by passing himself off as Native American?

By MATTHEW FLEISCHER
Wednesday, January 25, 2006

This is a most excellent article that explains why it's just not kosher to pretend to be something you're not and steal from the very people you claim to be honoring.

It ain't right!

READ THE ARTICLE HERE

The Official George W. Bush "Days Left In Office" Countdown

Get one of these "Backwards Bush Countdown Clocks" for your own webpage or blog by CLICKING HERE.

OR:

ABC Defends Cancellation of Graham Comedy

ABC Defends Cancellation of Graham Comedy
Jan 22 4:53 AM US/Eastern
PASADENA, Calif.

One minute, Heather Graham was the face of ABC. The next minute, she was gone. Her comedy series "Emily's Reasons Why Not" was promoted relentlessly by the network as the linchpin of its post-football Monday night schedule, but was only given one airing before being yanked earlier this month.

ABC committed to the big promotional campaign before even seeing a script for the show, said ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Saturday. The series turned out to be a dog creatively, he indicated.

A total of six episodes were filmed, and McPherson said no determination has been made about whether they would be burned off.

COMPLETE ARTICLE

When I saw the massive promos for this show, just from that alone I thought I would hate this show. I hate all representations of women as bubbleheaded brainless airhead something-less-than-human walking talking vaginas (because f*cking them is their main function on this planet - women don't need any other attributes). I really, really hate that stuff and I think it is damaging to allow young women and girls to soak that sewage up into their minds. Shows and movies like that are virtual lessons in how to devalue your own worth as a human being.

Somehow, I was stuck watching the one show that aired. I think my Mom had her TV tuned in because of another show that was coming on or had just aired and when I am caring for her, we watch what she wants and since she knows her favorite shows are mostly ABC, she's afraid to change the channel.

I was actually surprised. Sure enough, it was a piece of airhead fluff but with a slightly feminist-flavored statement wafting through it. I didn't much care for the goofy cartoony characters but I got the part about how this girl Emily was striking out on her own and determined to live her life by her standards and stick to them. That is admirable. That's a good lesson to teach.

I think the show could have become something. But one airing and it got the axe. That's Hollywood
.
Somebody must have caught onto the real-girl-sneaking-in-to-the-party-in-airhead-disguise and so she was shown the exit door.

Definition of Irony

Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) – "The chief executive has the duty and the obligation to be completely honest." [Sun-Sentinel, 12/19/98]

Former RNC Chairman Jim Nicholson - "Tragically, America could have been spared this entire sad saga if the president had told the truth in the first place." [U.S. Newswire 8/18/98]

Accused Stepdad Blames Tortured New York Girl for Her Death

Updated 10:47 AM ET January 20, 2006

The stepfather accused of murder and torture in the death of 7-year-old Nixzmary Brown is blaming the victim for her fatal beating.

In an interview given to reporters from three New York newspapers the day after Nixzmary's funeral, Cesar Rodriguez -- charged with second-degree murder and first-degree sexual assault -- said that his stepdaughter's behavior forced him to give her beatings.

"I ask her why she had to put me through so much trouble," Santiago said, according to the interview published in The Daily News. "And I tell her I'm sorry and that I love her."

'I Don't Want to Say She Deserved It, but ...'

Rodriguez and Nixzaliz Santiago, Nixzmary's mother, are being held without bail as they face second-degree murder charges. Prosecutors say Nixzmary was beaten, starved, tied to a chair, and tortured before she died in her Brooklyn apartment on Jan. 11. Her death has renewed concerns about the Administration for Children's Services' ability to protect abused children.

Rodriguez and Santiago also face charges of manslaughter, unlawful imprisonment, and endangering the welfare of a child. If convicted, they could face 25 years to life in prison.

In their indictment, prosecutors said Rodriguez abused the girl for months as her mother did nothing. The alleged abuse culminated, prosecutors said, when Rodriguez smashed Nixzmary's head against a bathtub.

"I don't want to say she deserved it, but ... ," he said.

LINK TO COMPLETE ARTICLE

A Fool and His (and Her) Money...

Money! Money! Money! Here's a fun little money-making scheme. You pay the owner of this website $100 and in return you get to claim one tiny square on a grid of many, many squares as your own. You may put a teeny-tiny image of a button on your square if you like. It's also possible to have your square link to your own website or any other place in cyberspace. The website speaks excitedly of the millions of website visitors who will view your message and your url. Just fork over the cash, dear. Oh, yeah. If you make a mistake or just want to edit any content or switch your image, that will cost you an additional $200. They don't seem to have sold too many squares. HERE IS THE WEBSITE. Actually, the whole idea amuses me. What will you think?

666-OOPS!

ALTOONA, Wis. -- Ken Hasenmueller holds a set of license plates outside his Altoona, Wis., home. The Wisconsin Division of Motor Vehicles randomly assigned the plates which read 666-KEN, but the Christian father of three plans to exchange them because he doesn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about him. He said his first name is paired with the number recognized as a symbol for the Antichrist.

PUT A HELMET ON THAT SOLDIER BEFORE YOU SEND HIM OFF TO WAR!!!

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina -- The traditional obelisk in downtown Buenos Aires, Argentina, is covered with a giant condom to mark this year's World AIDS Day with campaigns for HIV/AIDS prevention.

Mommy Dearest

MOMBASA, Kenya -- A baby hippo named Owen walks along with its 'mother', a giant male Aldabran tortoise, at the Mombasa Haller Park. The odd couple have stayed together now for one year after they got together after Kenya Wildlife Service rangers rescued the baby hippo in the sea off Malindi after the Asian tsumani reached the Kenyan shore and separated the calf from its mother.

World Wildlife Fund

Greatest Film Misquotes

Some of the most classic film lines or scenes are really only legendary and/or apocryphal, or they are merely movie misquotes, but after many years of repetition, they have become part of the filmgoing public's consciousness. Many of these examples are film quotes that were either commonly attributed wrongly, or in fact were never actually spoken, such as:

In The Virginian (1929), one of the earliest Western talkies, Gary Cooper's taunting line was not: "Smile when you call me that!", or "When ya call me that, smile!", but "If you wanna call me that, smile."

The legendary blood-sucking Count Dracula (Hungarian-born actor Bela Lugosi) never said "I want to suck your blood" in the Universal horror classic, Dracula (1931). However, the line was used in a humorous context by Dr. Tom Mason (Ned Bellamy) practicing his Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau) impersonation in director Tim Burton's Ed Wood (1994).

The mobster refrain, "You dirty rat!" - was never said verbatim by James Cagney, although he did say something similar, "Mmm, that dirty, double-crossin' rat," in Blonde Crazy (1931). [In Home Alone (1990), Macauley Culkin watched a scene from a fictional B/W gangster film videotape titled, "Angels With Filthy Souls" (a take-off on the Cagney film Angels With Dirty Faces (1938)), in which a gangster shoots his girlfriend, while saying, "Take that, you dirty rat!"]

Greta Garbo's most famous quote of all, "I want to be alone," was often thought to be non-existent or merely a statement of her reclusive nature in private life. However, it prominently appeared, with her famous accent spoken by the character Grusinskaya in Grand Hotel (1932)

Find more film misquotes (compiled by Tim Dirks) HERE.

Emusements.com

Emusements.com

The Website

Emusements.com is an amusement park for your mind featuring quick diversions and novelties.

	Name That... Quiz Game Can you name that movie in 5 actors? In 4 actors? In 3 actors? In 2 actors? How about that TV show? How many actors will it take before you have the answer? Conversely, can you name that actor (or actress) in 5 movies, 4 movies, 3 movies, or just 2 movies? There are 8 "flavors" of the game to try...
	Crunchy Frog Comedy If you like Monty Python or The Kids in the Hall, you should enjoy this sketch comedy "radio" show produced specifically for the Internet.
	Arcade Games These fun and fast-loading arcade-style games are perfect for a quick-break from your busy day. With over 35 games to choose from, you're certain to find something you like!
	Emusements Store Via Amazon.com, we offer the latest selection of television- and movie-related books, DVDs, and CDs.

We expect to debut additional games and novelties in the future so "stay tuned" or subscribe to our newsletter to stay in the loop.

Police: Schwarzenegger Riding Illegally

Police: Schwarzenegger Riding Illegally
Jan 10 8:42 PM US/Eastern

By STEVE LAWRENCE
Associated Press Writer

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was riding his motorcycle illegally over the weekend when he collided with a car in his Los Angeles neighborhood, police said Tuesday.

Los Angles Police Lt. Paul Vernon said Schwarzenegger does not have the proper endorsement on his California driver's license to operate a motorcycle.

Vernon said police did not ticket the governor for a violation because they arrived after the accident, which caused Schwarzenegger to suffer a cut on his upper lip that required 15 stitches.

Instead, officers referred their findings to the Los Angeles city attorney's office, which will determine whether the governor should be cited for an infraction. Driving a motorcycle without the proper license can result in fines ranging from $100 to $250 or more.

The city attorney's office could not immediately confirm receiving the police department's report.

Earlier Tuesday, Schwarzenegger acknowledged that he never bothered to obtain a motorcycle license because he "never thought about it."

"I just never really applied for it," he told reporters during a state budget briefing. "It was just one of those things that I never really did."

COMPLETE ARTICLE

This Picture Is F'ing Evil

From a story about bird flu...

The Wacky Warning Label Contest

Heat Gun Wins Wacky Warning Label Contest Jan 06 4:42 PM US/Eastern A warning that consumers shouldn't use a heat gun that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees as a hairdryer has won an anti-lawsuit group's award for the wackiest label of the year. The Wacky Warning Label Contest, in its ninth year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. "When judges see it as their job to dismiss cases that are rooted in frivolous theories, we'll see fewer wacky labels and more fairness in the courts," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, the group's president. The $500 first prize went to Tom Brunelle of Holland, who spotted the heat gun warning. The $250 second prize award went to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: "Never try to catch a falling knife." Third prize of $100 went to Alice Morgan of La Junta, Colo. She found a cocktail napkin with a map of the waterways around Hilton Head Island, S.C., printed on it that cautioned: "Not to be used for navigation." COMPLETE ARTICLE

Make-A-Snowflake

This is really fun. I like clicking on other peoples' snowflakes to see what they have to say. GO HERE to cyber-cut out your own snowflake then leave a message with it and watch what happens!

If you want to look up my snowflake, I am Number 1,947,014. If anyone makes a snowflake, please come back here and let everyone know your snowflake's number so we can go see what you did!

Oily Fart

“We do not know the exact quantity of oil we are exporting, we do not exactly know the prices we are selling it for, and we do not know where the oil revenue is going to.”
-- Oil Ministry Official in Baghdad
Link

Weird Ebay Auctions

Weird Ebay Auctions Warehouse

Would you bid on a piece of string cheese with a hair embedded inside? Well, actually, that auction was for lawyers to "bid" on representing the recipients of the string cheese in their lawsuit against the cheese company.

Or maybe you'd like to bid on the fingernails of a serial killer?

Or someone's virginity?

None of these auctions are "live" anymore but the list of items that people were trying to sell makes some interesting reading.

The Dick List

This website lists real-life guys who are real dicks. You can post your own nominations to the dick list.

Chinese Eatery Sold Donkey in Tiger Urine

Chinese Eatery Sold Donkey in Tiger Urine
Sep 08 9:50 AM US/Eastern

SHANGHAI, China

A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling donkey flesh _ marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported Thursday.

The sale of tiger parts is illegal in China and officers shut down the restaurant, only to be told by owner, Ma Shikun, that the meat was actually that of donkeys, flavored with tiger urine to give the dish a "special" tang, the newspaper said.

The report didn't say how the urine was obtained.

READ COMPLETE STORY HERE

ImpeachBush.org

ImpeachBush.org

An okay site -- has some interesting articles. "Impeach Bush" merchandise available.

TruthOrFiction.com

Before you forward that email...check it out at TruthOrFiction.com!

Millions of Internet users depend on TruthOrFiction.com to find out whether an eRumor that has been forwarded to them is true or not.

The Internet is the largest publishing machine that has ever existed and eRumors can spread around the globe at lightning speed.

Nobody intends to spread a false rumor.

We all love to tell "wow" stories, however.
"Wow, that's interesting!"
"Wow, that's hilarious!"
"Wow, that's horrifying!"
"Wow, that's heartwarming!"
"Wow, that's hilarious!"
"Wow, that's just what I thought my least favorite politician would do!"

Each of us tells "wow" stories each day, but on the Internet, some of them turn out not to be true. That's where TruthOrFiction.com can save your skin.

Whenever you receive a forwarded eRumor...come to TruthOrFiction.com and find out the truth about it. Help spread truth on the Internet!

THE WEBSITE

Cat called 911

Cat called 911 to help ill owner, police say

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Police aren't sure how else to explain it.
But when an officer walked into an apartment Thursday night to answer a 911 call, an orange-and-tan striped cat was lying by a telephone on the living room floor. The cat's owner, Gary Rosheisen, was on the ground near his bed having fallen out of his wheelchair.

Rosheisen got the cat three years ago to help lower his blood pressure. He tried to train him to call 911, unsure if the training ever stuck.

The phone in the living room is always on the floor, and there are 12 small buttons — including a speed dial for 911 right above the button for the speaker phone.

"He's my hero," Rosheisen said.

COMPLETE ARTICLE

And so the new year begins...

I just wanted to make a record of how this year 2006 started out and where we've been in 2005. I might want to look back on how it was.


Fires Ravage Oklahoma City, Texas Towns
AP
CARBON, Texas — Wildfires raged across Texas, Oklahoma and New Mexico on Sunday, burning homes and sparking a patchwork of flames across the region as gusting winds blew flaming embers into the dry grass.

2nd Storm Prompts California Evacuations By JUSTIN M. NORTON Associated Press Writer GUERNEVILLE, Calif. Jan 1, 2006 — The second major storm in two days washed across Northern California on Sunday, prolonging the threat of flooding as residents tried to clean up thick layers of mud and debris left behind as the first wave of floodwater receded. Hundreds of homes and businesses across the region had been inundated Saturday as heavy rain sent the Napa and Russian rivers spilling over their banks.

Palestinian militants end truce, destroy UN club
Daily Times - Pakistan
GAZA CITY: Palestinian militants marked the end of a truce agreement Sunday by firing a barrage of rockets towards southern Israel and detonating explosives in a beachfront UN club in Gaza City.

Bush is still talking crap out both sides of his mouth. Deniability was not possible when it came to Bush's Snoopgate Scandal. It's not nice to spy on your fellow Americans, Mr. President. You weren't just investigating terrorists and everybody now knows it. So that's why you are now behaving like a recalcitrant child caught with his hand in the cookie jar - your "best defense" by going on the offense and demanding to know who dared let the American people know the truth (Gasp! Who'da thunk it?) isn't working, Mr. President. Behavior and words stuck in the "belligerent brat mode" just aren't cutting it. 2005 was definitely NOT your year, George. Here's a few highlights: Bush’s Snoopgate Terrorism cases in US may be reopened after wiretap scandal How Much Power Should They Have? Bush Blows Katrina The Scandal Sheet Plamegate Lewis "Scooter" Libby Karl Rove Halliburton & Dick Cheney (background article from 2003) Halliburton & Dick Cheney (2005) STATE BY STATE GOP SCANDAL SCORECARD

Rootkit fiasco shows sterner laws needed
Toronto Star
The Sony Rootkit controversy, in which the world's second largest record label rendered hundreds of thousands of computers vulnerable to hackers by inserting faulty copy-protection software into CDs, was one of the top technology law blunders of 2005.

Google sued over Talk Techworld.com A firm that holds patents for technology used in Internet voice calling is suing search giant Google for US$5 billion over its Google Talk instant-messaging client.

Recovering from Hurricane Katrina

Time Magazine's Best Photos of the Year 2005

Fast Facts

From space, the brightest man-made place is Las Vegas, Nevada. Source: Understanding Electricity, The Learning Channel, March 27, 2000

The five most stolen items in a drugstore are batteries, cosmetics, film, sunglasses, and, get this, Preparation H. Apparently people are just too embarrassed to purchase the last item. And, just in case you are curious, one of Preparation H's main ingredient is shark liver oil. The oil not only helps shrink hemorrhoids, but will shrink any tissue. As a result, many older women in Florida use the stuff to help reduce the appearance of wrinkles! Source: Do Pharmacists Sell Farms? by Vince Staten (1998, Simon & Schuster)

Charles Lindbergh achieved great fame for being the first man to fly nonstop across the Atlantic Ocean. What most people don't know, however, is that two men had achieved the same goal eight years earlier! Flying for sixteen and a half hours from June 14 to June 15, 1919, Captain John Alcock and Lieutenant Arthur Whitten-Brown had copiloted a Vichers-Vimy twin-engine plane nonstop from Newfoundland across the Atlantic to Ireland. Lindbergh was just the first person to do it alone. Source: Fabulous Fallacies by Tad Tuleja (1982, The Stonesong Press, pages 4-5)

A South Korean movie theater owner decided that the movie The Sound of Music was too long. His solution? He shortened the movie by cutting out all of the musical scenes! Source: Uncle John's Fourth Bathroom Reader, 1989, page 63

Visit the "Fast Facts Page" of the
Useless Information Website for more!