"Lost" Fans -- Ready to laugh?

Have your computer talk to you!

Lonesome? Want someone to talk to you? Now you can make your computer be that someone by visiting TalkingOnline.com.

Hehehehehehe... you could always input my text: "I picked my nose and got a big one. Yum yum. Juicy. And crunchy." I crack myself up sometimes.

Live Eagle Webcam

CLICK HERE TO WATCH
THE LIVE WEBCAM

Our Lady of the Dead Cat Carcasses

Hundreds of Dead Cats Found

EAST ORANGE, N.J. (AP)

May 20, 2005 - Public works employees in East Orange today plan to remove hundreds of cat carcasses from the back yard of a woman who operates one of New York City's no-kill animal shelters.

Animal welfare officers say they were sickened by the stench when they arrived at Marlene Kess' home yesterday. They found 48 living cats in the house and more than 200 dead cats stuffed in garbage bags. Kess, who moved from Manhattan in July, was cited for several health code violations. She's also charged with failing to properly shelter cats.

story link

Just Bitchin' and Moanin'

I have degenerative arthritis. It's in my spine, my hips, my knees and my fingers. I'm no doctor but I suppose I have it all over, it's just that those places hurt the most often and almost all the time. Well, my lower back is a constant agony unless I take Tylenol-3.



And today was excrutiating and it actually was that muscle under my right shoulderblade. It hurt like a S.O.B. Even the Tylenol-3 didn't do much. The little vibrator pillow for your feet that a friend gave me helped a little when I put it behind my back.



What I really needed was the world's best backrub to unkink the kinks in my muscles. But, there's just me and my Mom here and she is bedridden with a lot of health problems. I take care of her.



And that's when I realized what I probably did was wrench my shoulder pulling my Mom up in her hospital bed.I know this doesn't make any sense because it doesn't make the pain go away but when I can make sense of something, I feel better. Now I know WHY I'm in so much pain and my mood has lifted. I know that's weird.



It's almost time for another pain pill. And I just picked up three or four new medications today after a doctor visit. That was funny and maybe another post sometime.



It's getting too warm in the house so I think I'll shut the heater off. As long as I stay awake and it's 11:07 PM right now, it will feel too warm but after I fall asleep when I wake up in the morning... IT'S FREEZING COLD!!!! WTF???

More Fun from Bored.com!

Destroy Any Website
Um, yeah, you type in the url, choose your method of destruction from flamethrower to bird poop to tire tracks and many more, then click away! Hee hee, I typed in www.whitehouse.gov just for the heck of it then bird pooped right on Georgie's head!

Let Your Personality Be Analyzed by Your Artwork
You have to create a tree, house, or person then your personality is analyzed. Here is my drawing:

Your personality analysis based on this drawing:You are conflicted about something and unsure what to do about it.The nurturing you get from others is not very predictable.You tend to concern yourself too much with thinking about the negative consequences of things.You strive for achievement.

George W. Bush's Hotmail Account

Real Country Music Song Titles
These are real. What's scary is that I recognize some of them.

Listen to a Song Backwards
For many years there have been rumors that certain songs, speeches, and ads contain hidden subliminal messages that can only be heard when played backwards. This is known as backmasking, and there is much debate about its existence. Use our website to find out for yourself if it is true. Or, listen just for the fun of it.

The Rock, Paper, Scissors Game
Play this classic kids game online

Bored.com Arcade
Play free video games online such as Pac Man, Tetris, Frogger & many others.

Male Restroom Guide and Female Restroom Guide

Oxymoron List
The largest list of oxymorons ever collected online.

What Famous Things Happened on Your Birthday?

Funny and Crazy Billboard Ads

From Bored.com comes this fascinating photo list of some of the most interesting and amusing billboards to be found on the planet. Here are a few examples:

Create Your Own News Clipping

Go to http://www.getclippings.com/ to generate your own fake news clipping. Here's an example:

Emergency Cellular Telephone Numbers

Even opponents of cellular telephone usage by drivers acknowledge their utility in an emergency situation. Here are the state police / highway patrol telephone numbers by state. Law enforcement agencies urge motorists to use these numbers only to report accidents, emergencies, impaired drivers, reckless drivers, vehicle problems, hazardous material spills and criminal behavior. We urge drivers to be aware of using their cellular telephones in a safe manner and to be aware of laws which prohibit using their phones while driving.

The National government and many states have mandated that 911 work from your cellular telephone. According to many Cellular Providers, they are making strides to accomplish this. Fair warning - your cellular telephone may or may not work with the numbers below. We urge you to check with the local or state authorities, before you travel.

VIEW THE NUMBERS CHART FOR ALL STATES

Five Things You Never Knew Your Cellular Phone Could Do!

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112
If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out!

Unlock Your Car
Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home; call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Activate Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate hidden battery power in your cell phone, press the keys * 3370#. Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

Disable a STOLEN mobile phone
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #. A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. The number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones!

Free Directory Service for Cell Phones
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800) FREE 411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all.

AWESOME WEBSITE: "Haunted Indiana"

I love stuff like this and this website is packed with the creepiest, spookiest, weirdest stuff that all takes place in the great Hoosier State. I have a soft spot for Indiana because that's where my family had a farm for well over 100 years. I loved that old place. So, in honor of Francesville, Indiana and all my favorite weirdos who come from there, here's HauntedIndiana.com!!!

I found this about dear old Francesville:

Francesville - "The Light" - near Moody Lane - the story is back in the horse and buggy days, two brothers were out for a ride. One brother fell off and the wheel decapitated him. The light is the lantern of the other brother looking for the head. The brother is with his lantern passing one row at a time in the corn. If you go when the corn is down, you will see a light come towards you. if the corn is up (the best time to go) you see the orange/red glow from the lantern at the end of a row. it will move through the row of corn and you can see the light above the corn. It's slowly moves to the end of the row and back to the start of the row. Then it will move up one more rows. You can watch the light come closer and closer one row at a time.

Francesville - Moody Lane - A man named Moody roams the countryside and if you go to Moody Lane and wait where the trees branches are suppose to hang over the road you will see a strange light come toward you. Also there is a graveyard near Moody Lane where a man and a woman were killed on opposite sides of the road. And at midnight you supposedly can see the woman crossing the road to see her man.

A Serial Killer Named "Pee Wee"

No, not the guy with the popcorn box. This is a different Pee Wee.

Donald "Pee Wee" Gaskins was the most prolific serial killer in South Carolina history. Once his brutality was unleashed, he knew no boundaries, torturing, killing, cannibalizing victims, both male and female. In his taped memoirs for the book, Final Truth by author Wilton Earl, Gaskins said, 'I have walked the same path as God, by taking lives and making others afraid, I became God's equal. Through killing others, I became my own master. Through my own power I come to my own redemption..'

Dirty magazines and a sock weren't enough for this guy? Can you imagine what happens to guys named "Pee Wee" when they get to the Big House? Ouch.

READ PEE WEE'S WHOLE SORDID STORY HERE.

Darwin Awards Hall of Fame

Top 10 Darwin Awards - Stories of the Decade

Here are the top stories of the past 10 years as chosen by those who compile the Darwin Awards. This is a list you do not want to be on.

1) 2006: Hammer of Doom
He pounded on a rocket propelled grenade with a sledgehammer. It exploded and he died.

2) 2005: Chimney-Cleaning Grenade
He Tried Welding a Live Grenade to a Chain. It exploded and he died.
zSB(3,3)

3) 2004: Rutting Contest
A Deadly Game of "Chicken" With Scooters. All in the Name of Love. The bikes collided head-on and both drivers died.

4) 2003: Unsafe and Insane
He stuck a lit firecracker between his butt cheeks. Then he stumbled and fell. The firecracker blew quite a hole in the fellow's lower body, but he somehow survived.

5) 2002: Fir Tree Trimmer
To save time, a tree-trimmer starts a fire at the base of the tree he's in. He tosses down the cut branches and they burn. As does the entire tree.

6) 2001: The Unkindest Cut
A live power line fell on his truck after a crash, so he used a pair of pruning shears to cut it. The 7,500 volts quickly delivered him to Darwin Awards infamy.

7) 2000: Stupid Human Tricks
A gun collector shoots himself while demonstrating gun safety. A bar-room brawler climbs a staircase to dive on another patron but misses and hits the floor with his head. A would-be mail-bomber blows up when he opens the letter he'd sent after it was returned for insufficient postage.

8) 1999: Living on Zionist Time
Palestinian car bombers blow themselves up because they forgot to coordinate their watches with Daylight Saving Time.

9) 1998: Ski Theft Backfires
He crashes into a ski-lift tower while riding down the hill on a home-made sledge crafted from the protective foam that surrounded the base of the tower he hit.

10) 1997: Out of their Heads
Adults on a bus trip didn't listen to warnings to keep their heads inside. Poking them through that sunroof was just too much fun. Until the bus entered a low viaduct.

Find more weird news sources here.

Rare Diseases

Quick! You are a doctor and your patient has developed antiphospholipid antibodies as well as the appearance of numerous blood clots and now the situation is catastrophic, with numerous organs developing blood clots over a matter of a few days. Your patient is going to die... unless you can figure out what's wrong and prescribe the proper remedy. What is this rare disorder called? You can find the answer at About.com's "Rare Diseases" Directory which lists many, many such peculiar problems and their main symptoms and possible remedies (if there are any). As a writer, I look upon this place as an excellent research resource. But, the weird factor makes this website fascinating for anyone to peruse. MAIN WEBSITE ANSWER TO FIRST PARAGRAPH'S MEDICAL MYSTERY

A Brief History of Disembodied Dog Heads

FROM THE "BEWARE OF THE BLOG" WEBSITE OF WFMU:

Did Soviet scientists actually keep a disembodied dog head alive back in the 1940s? Did those crazed Stalinist Frankensteins then follow up that stunt by surgically creating a two headed dog in 1954? (That is, if "two-headed" is accurate - it's more like two heads, six legs and one-and-a-half torsi.)

Sorry, I just wanted to use the word "torsi."

And forget the Soviets - what about the monkey brain that a Cleveland surgeon transplanted from one primate to another? Are these all Internet hoaxes, or the only known evidence of a subject too taboo to be taken seriously - the research into head and brain transplants that's been going on for decades?

I wish I had definitive answers for you - I don't. But I'm more inclined towards believing that these experiments actually took place than when I first stumbled onto this weird medical sub-culture. After starting off as a skeptic, I've come to believe that organisms have indeed been revived. Heads have been lopped off. Brains have been perfused. Cephalic members transplanted. Glucose permeated in isolated canine craniums. The works.

READ THE REST OF THIS STRANGE ARTICLE

Brazil city proposes ban on death

Brazil city proposes ban on death

Municipal regulations normally ban anything from smoking in public places to parking in certain zones.

But officials in the Brazilian town of Biritiba Mirim, 70km (45 miles) east of Sao Paulo, have gone far beyond that.

They plan to prohibit residents from dying because the local cemetery has reached full capacity.

Biritiba Mirim, a town of 28,000 inhabitants, not only wants to prohibit residents from passing away. The bill also calls on people to take care of their health in order to avoid death.

The bill states that "offenders will be held responsible for their acts". However, it does not say what the punishment will be.

MORE...

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Homage to Vivia
Originally uploaded by Mareen Fischinger.

Just a Reminder to Myself Why I Love The Doors

Family Guy - Top 10 Moments

I love stupid humor!

This show is almost as stupid as my all-time number one Favorite of Stupidity, "Beavis and Butthead."

If condoms had corporate sponsors

REALLY Stupid Warning Labels

1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)

12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)

17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)

Find more funny stuff HERE.

Oops, wrong email addy

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address: A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

Make Your Own Glitter Text

This is a fun little online toy for MySpace users, but what the hey, why not use it for anything?

ONLINE GLITTER TEXT GENERATOR

Search for the next Pussycat Doll from a David Spader Feminist Point of View

Draft of climate report maps out 'highway to extinction'

READ THE STORY HERE

...However, the number of species going extinct rises with the heat, as does the number of people who may starve, or face water shortages, or floods, according to the projections in the draft report obtained by The Associated Press...

The final document will be the product of a United Nations network of 2,000 scientists as authors and reviewers, along with representatives of more than 120 governments as last-minute editors. It will be the second volume of a four-volume authoritative assessment of Earth's climate being released this year. The last such effort was in 2001. (Volume 1: Humans 'very likely' cause warming)

The report says global warming has already degraded conditions for many species, coastal areas and poor people. With a more than 90 percent level of confidence, the scientists in the draft report say man-made global warming "over the last three decades has had a discernible influence on many physical and biological systems."

But as the world's average temperature warms from 1990 levels, the projections get more dire. Add 1.8 degrees Fahrenheit -- 1 degree Celsius is the calculation scientists use -- and between 400 million and 1.7 billion extra people can't get enough water, some infectious diseases and allergenic pollens rise, and some amphibians go extinct.

But the world's food supply, especially in northern areas, could increase. That's the likely outcome around 2020, according to the draft.

Add another 1.8 degrees and as many as 2 billion people could be without water and about 20 percent to 30 percent of the world's species near extinction. Also, more people start dying because of malnutrition, disease, heat waves, floods and droughts -- all caused by global warming.

That would happen around 2050, depending on the level of greenhouse gases from the burning of fossil fuels.

...and it gets worse...

Weird Web Stuff

Weird Web Stuff

I love to "collect" bits and pieces of weirdness I discover on the web (in case you can't tell by what's already here). So here's a few more additions for you to enjoy:

What is "breatharianism" and what happens to the people who practice it?Not a real good idea if you plan on staying alive. These folks really believe their physical bodies can sustain themselves solely on air and sunshine. No food. No water. Ever. Except, of course, for one of their major spokespersons who got photographed at a Wendy's hamburger joint, chowing down on a whole bunch of junk food.

Science Toys
Some of this stuff is passing strange, such as the robotic hand that plays six piano pieces. All by itself. Anyone remember that old sci-fi movie, "The Five Fingered Monster?"

Watermelon Fruit Carving
The guy is an artist. With watermelon.

Secret and Hidden Places at Google Earth
The link will take you to the YouTube page for this interesting little video of "secret" locations discovered using Google Earth. There will be even more links to even more "Google Earth Secret Locations" pages listed here.

Weird Facts
Did you know that Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. president to have been born in a hospital? Or that in every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It to Beaver". Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California. And there's lots more where that came from!

Byberry Abandoned Mental Hospital
Okay, this is just creepy. The creepiness continues with "Legend of the John Doe Morgue." Oh oh. I just found The Byberry Archives.

How to paint the MONA LISA with MS PAINT

So you think you hate your driver's license photo?
Check out what these guys did to screw with their own DL pics on purpose.

Homeless Black Little Person Gets a Job from the Cops

Weird Picture Archive